Jimmy Buffett

I like to think Elvis isn’t the only one anymore.

some people look at your face. some people look into your eyes. some people look through your clothes at your skinny, naked body. and some people look into your mind and soul. and they see you. 

Anonymous asked: Whut do you do to be traveling so much?

i’m a high-end call-boy for closeted, homophobic fundamentally religious figureheads. lots of luggage lifting and incognito getups. are you kidding me? i’m not telling you what i do or where i work, anon. why don’t i just give you my address too. you can come to my apartment and make me dress up like a lady so you can get your rocks off. i’ll be waiting in my room with my nana’s old wig on. oh, i’ll go ahead and txt you my social security number while i’m at it so you can steal my identity and then buy yourself some nice vintage curtains on etsy. you’re a freaking lifetime movie just waiting to happen, anon. 

i’m having midday office sex with my new coworker. isn’t he gorgeous? 

Or is that just me?

brentmichaeldiroma:

Hey, tumblr

Let’s do this.

Please, let’s do.

So I just got this email about sending aid to one of our vendors affected by the terrible flooding in Rhode Island. And all I could think about was that time I got an HJ in Rhode Island.