littlekyle:

Since you all probably care about me, you should know that this year I am only participating in activities and leisure pursuits best ascribed to the “fit grandma” archetype (which is a real thing that I made up):

I am playing a lot of bridge, sending improperly punctuated and inadvertently haunting e-mails, continuing to hyphenate the word e-mail, knitting, never leaving the 26.2 mile radius extending from my apartment, canning my own jams, campaigning to be made the canasta page admin on Facebook, using Facebook, and making all my friends refer to me as “gma,” which they all think is weirder than it actually is.

if you want to be a fit grandma, you can message me, and i will send you pictures of my grandchildren and a recipe for a drink that includes old-timey ingredients. maybe this will be a grandmas across america thing, and we can go on tv and talk about valorizing the elderly and doing online jigsaw puzzles on the aarp website.

this is who we are now. this is forever.

sign me up, please.