January 2012
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According to Kathie Lee and Hoda, today is National Have Fun at Work Day, but I think the only way I’ll be able to celebrate is by chugging a coffee mug of chardonnay.
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sleeplessinsouthie:
Oh dear. It’s still not the weekend yet.
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“When you start operating on the principle that you indeed can divide people into...”
– Hanne Blank, The Invention of the Heterosexual (via absurdlakefront)
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My Beyoncé
Whenever I become formally engaged to the man of my dreams, instead of calling him my fiancé, I will call him my beyoncé.
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“No. No, no, no. He wears a Snuggie and watches ‘Extra’”
– Anthony Mackie on Ryan Gosling’s extra curricular activities. (via glossylalia)
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“Elvis was the only man from Northeast Mississippi who could shake his hips and...”
– Jimmy Buffett
I like to think Elvis isn’t the only one anymore.
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fit grandmas
littlekyle:
Since you all probably care about me, you should know that this year I am only participating in activities and leisure pursuits best ascribed to the “fit grandma” archetype (which is a real thing that I made up): I am playing a lot of bridge, sending improperly punctuated and inadvertently haunting e-mails, continuing to hyphenate the word e-mail, knitting, never leaving the 26.2...
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The next time I see a gayby misbehaving I'm going...
“You’re a lady, not Mr. Toad of Toad Hall.”
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“In season one it’s called Ferrer, and in season two it’s called Isis. It’s a new...”
– Hugh Bonneville on important doggie characterization in Downton Abbey! (don’t read if you haven’t finished season 1 yet RICH)
Also awesome
(via austentranslation)
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“Is it a requirement that a boy has a tumblr before they’re allowed to get...”
– My friend David on learning about my (IRL&tumblr) boyfriend.
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“I want to kiss greasers smoking outside the bar just so good tobacco and rotten...”
– BehindThisBeard
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“sweetheart, being gay is the best excuse you’ll ever have for not being boring”
– edina monsoon (via pathofthesun)
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“You look like Orville Redenbacher.”
– My boyfriend. Best compliment of the night.
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Chalk it up.
If I’m wearing cufflinks, I’m getting wasted. Cufflinked, if you will.
December 2011
23 posts
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New Years Resolutions For 2012:
themorallycorruptfayeresnick:
Find out what a ‘Skrillex’ is.
Hunt a ’Skrillex’.
Give to charity more. (Buy Sheree’s new single.)
Listen to more than 2/3rds of an Adele song without getting nausea.
Eloquently articulate my disputation against Katy Perry. Nail it to her door à la Martin Luther.
End my long running feuds with Trina, Joan Didion and ThoughtCatalog.
Become BFFs with Tara Reid....
I think my dad might be tipsy.
He’s eating soft-serve ice cream with a fork. Sprinkles and nuts and all.
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My dad and I are going to the casino tonight and I plan to get drunk and win a thousand dollars and pretend like I don’t miss my friends terribly.
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